With Gratitude to the Helper

[A Eulogy offered at the Celebration of Life liturgy for Louise (Leecie) duPuy Rhinelander Doyle on Saturday, January 20, 2024 at St. Richard’s Episcopal Church, Winter Park, Florida]

 One of the most poignant images I’ve seen of Leecie Doyle’s life was the photograph of her door in Westminster Towers. On it she had taped the cover of Rollins College’s magazine that featured Fred Rogers. The headline below his familiar image wearing his famous red sweater simply read “The King of Kindness.”

 

“Look for the Helpers…”

Leecie loved Mr. Rogers. And she was so happy that Rollins had honored him, one of their graduates, with a sculpture set in a garden there on campus. One of her last field trips with Chuck Hankins was to Rollins to see the new sculpture. Her expression said it all: both a delight in the college’s veneration of their beloved alumnus but also the recognition of a kindred soul.

 

The quote that Fred Rogers is best known by speaks of looking for the helpers. He once said in an interview, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” I think Leecie intimately understood that sentiment.

In my experience of the last two decades of her life, I was struck by her devotion to the public good. Leecie always sought out advice from Rosemary Durocher and later from me regarding who to vote for in the judicial contests. Rosemary is the widow of Joe Durocher who was the Public Defender here in Orlando and my boss when I practiced law as an assistant public defender. Leecie was concerned that those who devoted their lives to helping others in legal trouble would be represented on the benches of our courts. It was one of the many ways Leecie served the public good in this community.

 

But at a more personal level, it was my observation that Leecie was an expert at affirming those of us who needed to be encouraged. I observed it in her loving relationship with Christopher her son, in her engagement with Chuck Hankins and in my own life as I worked through my life crises. I often turned to Leecie for advice because I knew her judgment was sound, that her heart drove her judgment and her willingness to engage those who needed it was inexhaustible.

 

Leecie was decidedly one of the helpers. And those of us who knew her were the beneficiaries of that loving presence in our lives.

 

 Gratitude: An Essential Fourth Element 

I often say during memorial services that these rites serve three purposes. One, to celebrate the life of the deceased, two, to voice the grief that their physical departure from our lives brings, and three, to express our hopes that this separation is only temporary, that our departed loves one simply await us when our souls, too, leave this physical realm. So we are here today to celebrate the incredible life of a vibrant woman we all loved, to speak our pain in her passing and to affirm our hopes that we will see her again.

 

But I have come to believe that there is a fourth element that a memorial service should include: that of gratitude. A less known quote from Fred Rogers asserted the following:

 

I believe that appreciation is a holy thing – that when we look for what’s best in a person we happen to be with at the moment, we’re doing what God does all the time. So, in loving and appreciating our neighbor, we are participating in something sacred.

 

I believe Fred Rogers was onto something there. And so I end my comments with my own statement of gratitude for the life of Leecie Doyle. I am grateful for her fearless journey of self-discovery that led her to study in prestigious institutes of higher learning around the world at a time when women were rarely found in such endeavors. I am grateful for her selfless devotion to the public good, a quality that is far too often lost in a hypercompetitive society focused on wealth, power and status. I am grateful for her inexhaustible concern for all living beings from the many wounded souls of those she loved to the good creation she so admired. And I am grateful for the loving friendship we shared. Leecie, I will truly miss you. 

So for all she was, for all she brought to this world, and for all the memories we now share, I offer my gratitude to a very generous G-d who gave the gift of her life to us. Thank you, Holy One. Thank you, Leecie. And thank all of you who are here this day to remember her. AMEN. 

  

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 Harry Scott Coverston

 Orlando, Florida

 frharry@cfl.rr.com

 hcoverston.orlando@gmail.com

 If the unexamined life is not worth living, surely an unexamined belief system, be it religious or political, is not worth holding. Most things worth considering do not come in sound bites.

Those who believe religion and politics aren't connected don't understand either. – Mahatma Gandhi

For what does G-d require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your G-d?  - Micah 6:8, Hebrew Scriptures

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it. - Rabbi Rami Shapiro, Wisdom of the Jewish Sages (1993)

   © Harry Coverston, 2024

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